Only Leave!

Roy Walker is promising a better outcome for United next season and he's saying it'll be better because he has a 'clean slate', his words, not mine. I have to say I'm not optimistic, as I think we took 'backward steps' this season and I do realise as Bruce Balmer said, I could look foolish as by a strange quirk of fate United could still finish in 8th position in the league. But I will assume (dangerous I know), that we will be as disinterested as usual and end up losing to Glenavon, as the Tommy Wright bandwagon rolls on, our dear friends from Coleraine will probably see to that, while Institute preparing for their play-off game will allow Newry a free passage, which means we finish in 11th place.

Everyone talks about our great feat in reaching the Irish cup semi-final, I think we were bloody lucky to get by the first round. Sean O'Neill made three crucial saves in our first round match, which kept us in or we would have deservedly lost to Ards in the first round. We eventually saw them off after extra-time, not something to get the heart racing, except for the wrong reasons, but not an unmitigated disaster, we've had more than our share of them in the past. Then along came Ballinamallard, whom we saw off but not without a wee hiccup or two and then we went down to play Glenavon. Glenavon are to be commended as they distribute leaflets with the programme showing the teams for that day's game and I have to admit when I saw that Roy had selected seven defenders in his starting line-up I was less than optimistic.

As it turned out we eventually made it through after a replay, which I unfortunately missed, but I've been told we were 'lucky' as they missed a couple of 'sitters' and Dwayne Nelson made an unbelievable save near the end. Let's look at it in detail then, we played 5 games to get to the semi-final and at no time looked impressive, as i said earlier definitely nothing to get excited about. Of course we flopped in the semi, as we had done earlier in the season in the Shield semi and that is all down to the manager. Everybody says their goal should have been disallowed, but forget about the 'sitter' they missed and hitting the post when it looked easier to score, we could in all honesty have been dead and buried by halftime. we did play some fantastic football but no end product and it's 'goals that count'.

Then came the 'dreaded' penalty shoot-out and I could tell by the 'body language' of our team that we didn't have the stomach for it, that is all down to motivation, which comes from management. We may have a clean slate for all the wrong reasons as our best player, Kevin Kelbie looks to be heading out of the Showgrounds as he deliberately handed his jersey to a young fan last Saturday, obviously his last home game in a United shirt. Some smart Alec will no doubt point out that Mike Smith was selected as our best player this season, but in my opinion the 'best player' is the guy who contributes match winning performances, e.g. crucial saves, crucial tackles or in Kevin's case crucial goals and he certainly scored a few of them this season.

Roy will have a difficult time replacing him and we still haven't found that 15 goal striker to play alongside him, Andy Smith's ten goals wasn't nowhere near good enough. Let's just have a quick look at the rest of our team. Our two keepers are average, just average, they will do in a pinch, but are both a bit suspect. The two fullbacks are just that, fullbacks, yes you can push them up a bit at times but there's nobody to take their place, so it's a pointless exercise. Ramsay and Archie are really not good enough, they've been tried all over the show and let's face they're crap. Albert has some good games, but is injury prone and costs too much, while Gazza has gone to the dogs, is his time at the Showgrounds up I hope not, but we must face facts? Taggart, so heralded by Walker, runs about like a headless chicken, rarely tackles and couldn't pass water, while Aidy Watson plays hard, but when he has a stinker, which happens too often, he's a liability.

Locky I'm afraid is past it, while Gary Muir is a complete waste of space and Noel Anderson has played so many places but still fails to impress but at least he's trying. Andy Smith is a liability, who can ever forgive or forget his penalty misses against the 'scum' and the Glens, while kelbie only plays about one game in five. The Cush, who tries his eye-strings out can't get in the team, McConnell has only come back into the picture, not a great player either, but a whole hearted one. So where is this clean slate Roy's so avid about, more than half our team aren't quite good enough, while the good ones will soon be brought down to their level. It's simple, the clean slate we need is a new manager, Roy's a nice guy, but I don't think he has a clue about how to wield together a winning team. To hell with good football, get us a winning team, if you can't do that, 'get thee hence from us' (god I hope i'm not getting biblical), in other words, 'only leave'!

Season's Gone!

It's that time of year once more, the meaningful part of the season has gone and here we are no further forward than we were last season. Roy Walker was hinting at the end of last season that he had several possible signings in the pipe line, which would make us into a force to be reckoned with. The major target and the man to lead us out of the wilderness, was Phillip Carson and what a let down he proved to be. Here we are two seasons down the line under Roy's management and in my opinion we are going nowhere but backwards. Roy of course says he has possible signings in the pipeline and next season we'll be a force to be reckoned with, where have we heard that before, or should I say where or who haven't we heard that, from before.

Our wage bill is far too high for the standard of football we are receiving and will have to be trimmed dramatically for next season once more. The choice is simple, if we don't trim the wages, we could be the next club to go to the wall. Two of our players are receiving a wage of well in excess of £1,000 between them each week and good as they are, they're not worth that sort of wages. These two men I'm informed have both been offered new contracts, but are as yet to put pen to paper. Perhaps an ultimatum from our manager, telling them to sign before the close season or be considered free agents, would help them make their minds up.

Carson isn't the only piece of dead wood and Locky looks like a player well past his prime, while my favourite player, Gazza, seems to have lost his way completely. Neither of our two goalkeepers, Nelson and O'Neill are totally reliable and I believe we need to strengthen that position by releasing one of them and bringing in a new face. Cushley looks as if he will be gone (a big mistake in my book), while Nathan McConnell hasn't got a pups chance of getting in the team and I have this on good authority. I assume one of the players being released will also be Joe McDonnell, one of Tommy Wright's parting shots, who has been an expensive and useless signing if ever there was one.

Just saw on the back of the 'Times' that surprise! surprise! the stock cars are coming back to the Showgrounds, albeit on a temporary basis at first. I think it's a safe bet that they'll be back permanently next season and our ground with it's nice new stand, will not be eligible for European football as the pitch is too narrow. But there's no need to get excited as United will need at least a 200% improvement to have any chance of getting into European football in the foreseeable future and I can't see that happening overnight. I'm afraid there's no blinding light at the end of our tunnel, only darkness, I'd love to 'only believe', but I'm too much of a realist and money doesn't grow on trees nor do great players come to struggling teams like ours, maybe it's time to wake up and smell the coffee!

Five Heroes!

When the chips are down, it always surprises me who are those folks who step up to the plate. And so it was last Saturday night at Windsor Park when it came to penalty shoot-out time. I and the rest of the 'Sports team were trying to second guess who our first five penalty takers would be and in all honesty I must say Archie and Kit Ramsay, were not two names that sprung to our minds. Kelbie was first on the list, then we expected probably Gazza (but he had been substituted)and Locky fell into the same boat also. Andy Smith would no doubt come into the equation and Noel Anderson also.

Our next suggestion would have been Albert, Aidy and/or Sparky. Then and only then, would the 20 year-olds have come into the fray, not in the cauldron of the first five, which had we scored we would've been in the final and not Portadown. But where were the great club-men who have been at our club for a wee while now, this was their time to come up with the goods and they failed us miserably. I realise that taking penalties isn't everyone's cup of tea, but when the chips are down, it's time to roll your sleeves up and get on with it. When volunteers were asked for only these five stepped forward and they were all heroes in my book.

Archie and Ramsay were willing to put their reputations on the line for the good of the team and they are to be commended for their bravery and commitment to the cause. To them and the three boys who scored, Kevin, Andy and Noel, myself and the Sky Blue Sports team say a big thank-you, you were there for us and in our eyes you'll always be heroes. We came within a whisker of making the final, it was a magnificent effort, but we just fell agonizingly short. Hopefully we'll live to fight another day, but if not at least you five players can hold your heads up high and say, 'we gave it our best shot' and after all that's all we can ask and the least we expect!

Half Mad!

When I first heard that our cup semi-final was fixed for 17-30hrs this Saturday, the first thought that came to my head was, are they bloody mad. Of course as it's the I.F.A. the question is rhetorical, of course they're bloody mad, otherwise they wouldn't be in the job in the first place. Football is meant to be played at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon, it's the traditional time and it gives people the rest of the night to get sozzled if they so wish.

The news that the game will be played to a finish as a result of the fixture cock-up which should be laid firmly at the door of the I.F.A., there's a distinct possibility that fans won't be home until late Saturday night. If the clubs were being compensated for this upheaval at least it might be worthwhile, but the rumoured paltry fee of £1,000, is nowhere near enough. And who will be watching this game on television as it clashes with the Chelsea/Aston Villa match live on I.T.V., more clever planning by the I.F.A.

I can see no winners from this ill-fated exercise, the 'gate' will suffer as a result of the late kick-off, while some fringe fans will decide to watch it either in the comfort of their own home, or in licensed premises nearby. Yet another own goal scored by our association, just when you think the chaos can't get any worse, we're proved wrong once again. Not since the pre-floodlight days have I attended a match at this time of night. I didn't like it then and I positively hate it now!