Organised Confusion!

It could only happen in the Irish league, here we are about to enter the last phase of our domestic league programme and we have no idea what the make-up of that league will be. Irish football president Raymond Kennedy, or to give him his proper title, Mr. Blobby, has said it's all down to the weather. In other words, 'we f- - ked up but we'll blame it on god'. The situation is exacerbated by the fact that the Irish cup is now two rounds behind schedule and we know who's to blame for that (I.F.A., who else), which also makes for a fixture pile-up and a major balls up.

Take ourselves, Ballymena United for instance, we have an outstanding game with Lisburn Distillery, which luckily has no bearing on the 'split', or does it, as the fixtures are seemingly pre-determined, more confusion. We were due to travel to Newry this Saturday for a league game, but that game is now cancelled as Newry must play their Irish cup replay this weekend. Our game scheduled for Easter Tuesday is either away to Portadown, if they lose their outstanding game away to Coleraine or at home to Coleraine should Portadown either win or draw that game. But if the Easter Tuesday game isn't played we'll have been inactive since playing Crusaders last Thursday until the cup semi-final on Saturday April 10, hardly ideal preparation for such a big game

Of course the game at home to Coleraine may not take place as I imagine their outstanding cup game at home to either Newry or Loughgall, would take preference and their league game with Portadown may not be played either, as already stated, due to the weather. Then again if the cup replay falls foul of the weather, a distinct possibility, who knows what 'hair brained' scheme the I.F.A. will come up with next. They say that every cloud has a silver lining and the one good thing to come out of this 'act of god' is that the summer football campaigners (better known as the flat world society), have lost their argument, as the so called summer season has started and matches are still not being played due to waterlogged pitches. No doubt Raymond and his fellow 'flat worlders' would argue that these were freak conditions and could never happen again in 30 years, d—k heads.

Spare a thought for United treasurer Noel Millar who has the unenviable task of arranging flights for United's two Scottish players, Kevin Kelbie and Gary Muir. My understanding is that if the games are called off early enough and the boys can be contacted, we're still liable for some of the fare, but knowing the I.F.A. they'll definitely wait until the last minute. I would urge the people who are running our local football to start listening to the fans, we don't want this 12 team league where you meet one team at least six times in a season (and it could be 12). Get us back to the 16 team league , where there was a bit of variety and there were a lot less matches to play and more 'windows' to play postponed games in. Let's face facts, this is a major 'cock-up', please don't let it happen again, our game is teetering on the brink of self-destruction, act now, don't wait till it's too late!

Pennies Drop!

After 28 years the penny has finally dropped and the organisers of the Milk cup have realised that Coleraine Showgrounds is a dump. I could've informed them of this fact 28 years ago, but had concluded that they wanted to centre the games in the North West principally. If I had thought for one moment that they had been temporarily blinded (28 years is a a long temporary period I admit), by the 'shite' talked by the Coleraine scum, I would soon have enlightened them as to their big mistake. Ballymena Showgrounds is so superior to Coleraine, which has been undeveloped in the last 20 years, as to make Coleraine akin to a junior team's ground.

In fact I'd lay odds that Junior team's wouldn't be seen dead in those types of surroundings, as the ground should in fact be condemned. Monies and bottomless pits go 'hand in hand' with Coleraine, one can only guess at the money that has been invested there over the years and still no development of the ground has taken place. They did siphon a lot of this money off into players salaries, but where the rest went is anybody's guess, I'm pretty certain that the inland revenue never got any of it. The Milk cup organisers have stated that they hope this will be a temporary measure until Coleraine get their act together. Hopefully from a Ballymena point of view it will last for at least another 28 years!

Another 'Penny' finally dropped this week, when after endless promises, the Ballymena borough council finally gave the 'Stock cars' their marching orders. The council had intimated that they intended to oust the Stockies, as they were continually damaging the Showgrounds pitch, which then the council had to finance the repairs of. In the end they lacked the 'balls' to do this and have invoked the matter of 'health and safety' as their grounds for refusing a licence for the oval racers. I personally believe they are doing this 'tongue in cheek', knowing full well that they cannot be sued by the Stockies, but if the Stockies appeal against this rule and win their case, they will look to be guiltless and will tell the football club that their hands are tied.

There's an old saying (attributed to Winston Churchill, among others), that goes, 'you can fool some of the people, all of the time, all of the people, some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people, all of the time! Ballymena Borough are attempting to do the 2nd of these statements (fool all of the people some of the time) and they will probably get away with it while us football folk, will have to suffer as a result of it. Our pitch will remain too narrow for European football, Stock cars will regularly 'cut up' the pitch and we'll never be able to have exclusive use of the Showgrounds on Boxing or New Years Day. If this is progress, I want no part of it!

Warped Opinion!

Glenn Ferguson was waxing lyrical in his column in the Sunday Life about the inconsistencies of referees and for the most part I would heartily agree with him. Where I have to take issue with Glenn is in his claim that there isn't a problem with indiscipline in our local game. Where have you been burying your head in the sand Glenn? I will simply refer to three incidents which call your claim into question. Number 1, the Boxing Day derby between Crusaders and Cliftonville. Number 2, the Irish cup match between Newry Town and Larne and last but by no means least, the 'free for all' in the recent Linfield /Crusaders league game.

Spike also makes the claim that Peter Thompson of Linfield was wrongly sent off for a deliberate elbow, claiming that his ex-partner wouldn't do such a thing. This from a man (Spike), who was and is a notorious elbow-er and who taught young Thompson almost everything he knows. At the end of the day we have to face facts, these three games showed local football at it's worst and I don't think the punishment dished out was anywhere near enough. We don't want this sort of behaviour in our local game and we should be striving to have it thrown out and hit the culprits with much heavier suspensions. The Newry/Larne game was exceptional in that there was no cameras there, but the other two games were well documented and action should be taken, action which fits the crime, in other words, lengthy suspensions.

On another note it was no great surprise to me that Alan McDonald resigned as Glentoran manager, allegedly after a 'bad' decision went against his team at Dungannon (we know all about that). Alan, let's face it is nothing more than a big 'Girl', he already threw his 'toys' out of the pram when the Coleraine scum trounced them at the Oval, so I suppose in many ways this was inevitable. Could he though have picked a worse time to make his exit, with the Glens facing Linfield in the Irish cup this Saturday? They are also in the final of the C.I.S. cup and still in with a chance of winning back-to-back titles. I know of a wee man, who allegedly manages Ballymena United and he'd just love to have those sort of problems!

I and the rest of the 'Sport team have decided to have a short break, supposedly in the sun from this Sunday, in order to recharge the batteries after this long hard winter. Alas we have boobed as if there's an Irish cup replay we will miss it and even if there isn't we'll miss a trip to that wonderful venue, Ballyskeagh. When we originally booked our trip there was no mention of united having a game next midweek, but as they say a week is a long time in football, just ask Alan McDonald if you don't believe me. I am also considering making this my last season as an active member of the 'Sport team, but more about that later. I will not be writing anything next week, but will be back in harness the day after St. Paddy's day if I survive till then. So come on Sky Blues, let's shag (not literally if you know what I mean), those Lurgan boys!