Forked Tongues!

In the 'good old' western films the Indians said that the white men spoke with 'forked tongues', which when translated meant you couldn't believe a word they said. Linfield football club I believe speak with forked tongues. Last year they 'allegedly' received £800,000 pounds from the I.F.A. for the use of Windsor Park for Internationals and cup finals etc. I say 'allegedly' as that is the fee they're admitting to, but in my limited experience, what is quoted officially and what is actually received, could have a difference of 20% more than claimed, which would make that a round fee of a million pounds. All of a sudden they seem prepared to give that income up, re-negotiate their terms which is contracted to run for another 100 odd years, the mind boggles.
The first whimper we heard was that Linfield would in effect, allow (they are bloody generous aren't they), the I.F.A. to develop the stadium (which lets face it is a disaster waiting to happen),into a 24,000 seater stadia and take a reduced fee for games. How much this fee was to be reduced was never specified, but I'd lay good odds it was by a very small percentage. Now they have stated that ownership of the stadium must remain with them. Do they think we all came down the Lagan in a banana boat? They want the I.F.A. and the Government to spend Millions developing the ground, which they will still retain ownership of. I realise Raymond Kennedy is a bit 'soft' in the head (he is a Coleraine board member after all), but even he would surely not be daft enough to agree to this ludicrous suggestion. The only sensible way forward is really to build a new Stadium, but if that's not going to happen and apparently it isn't, then ownership of the ground should pass to the I.F.A. with Linfield who would be putting nothing into the deal being allowed use of the ground for domestic games for a period of 20 years and thereafter pay a reasonable rent for the use of the facility. This is the way forward, Linfield may not like it, but anything other than this is 'anarchy'!

Fixtures Fiasco!

I find myself almost flabbergasted by the advent of a fixtures fiasco, masterminded by those refugees from ´romper room´, better known as the I.F.A. (for any young readers, romper room was a kiddies programme from the seventies, involving pre-school children). By a pure fluke United are involved in a mini fixture fiasco themselves this weekend, after having played (or should I say lost abjectly to), Crusaders, in the County Antrim Shield semi-final on Tuesday night, they now entertain the same team in a league match this Saturday. Three days later they host league champions Glentoran in a league match, that´s Tuesday the 27th October and then it´s a triple header against Institute, interspersed with a trip to Glenavon on November 7. I realise the draw was done correctly and above board (ha, ha, chance would be a fine thing), but could they have given us a less attractive draw, personally I don´t think so, even the Whites with former United manager Tommy Wright at the helm would have helped boost what most probably will be a pathetic turn-out. When the ´Stute come to the Showgrounds United lift nothing from their fans as they all (the whole eight of them), travel in the team coach, so they will bring no paying fans and United will have to rely solely on their own supporters for a decent home ´gate´.
Who in their right mind would make a pathetic fixture like this two-legged and even worse decree that the first leg be played on a Saturday. Saturdays are for league games, Irish cup games or Internationals, not penny-ante C.I.S. cups. Yes there´s prize money to be had but it´ll never compensate for the potential receipts United could expect from a Saturday meeting with the league champions. Please sit up and take note Kennedy & Co, you are destroying our game, competitions like the C.I.S. cup are a distraction, an escape from the pressure of the league race, but don´t ever think they can take it´s place. If you do, as sure as pussy´s a cat our wee game will go down the plug-hole. If this is the great sponsorship spin-off from the 12 team league, then quite bluntly it isn´t worth a plugged nickle and whoever thinks it is should go jump in the river Bann!

Both Ways!

An impassioned plea by United chairman Robert Cupples for fans to help with the clubs finances I fear may fall on closed ears. If the club are serious about wanting fans to help out then they must put their own house in order first. The players in the opinion of most fans, myself included, are 'grossly overpaid' as they show few signs of rising above the mediocre and on their wages that's nowhere nearly good enough. Their wages should be based on results, a very basic pay for being on contract and then get paid extra for wins and draws. Our players are by all accounts about the fifth best paid in the current league, this is way too much for a team that's never been better than sixth in the league and last year were decidedly lucky to avoid being in the relegation mix. There are allegedly two players costing the club over a £1,000 a week that's over £500 each in wages and travelling expenses. Our players wage bill could therefore be at least £4,000 a week, that's a lot of dosh for a mediocre team in my book. As for the management I couldn't hazard a guess at their wage bill, as we appear to be a little top heavy to my mind, with a manager, an assistant-manager, a first team coach, a goalkeeper coach, a team attendant and a kit-man. Get the results and you'll maybe not get more fans in, but you'll get fans willing to dig deep in order to help the club out. We have suffered long enough with a team that flatters to deceive, it's time to put up or shut up. So the ball is firmly in your court 'United officials', give us a good sound lead and we will definitely follow!

Fat Twats!

For anyone who has had his or head buried in the sand (or anywhere else) and hasn't heard the news, my headline may seem a little strange to you. It refers of course to the unfounded allegation of racist abuse raised I have been reliably informed by one Dungannon director, a referee and a referee's assessor. Despite United's appeal that our fans like fans up and down the United Kingdom were calling the Dungannon keeper a 'fat' Love-child (love-child being a polite word to use instead of the more common Bastard), these three individuals interpreted it as 'Black' bastard (oops I went and said it). Now I have racked my brain all week in wonderment as to how one could get confuse the two words, fat and Black. Fat does rhyme with Twat, Rat, Bat and Sh(a)t while Black rhymes with neither of these words and doesn't even sound remotely like them. I on the day in question was a good 70 yards from the incident (or should I say alleged incident), but those that I have questioned who were among the fans behind the goal assure me that no such words were spoken. What reason would our fans have for using racist comments anyway as we have nothing against any mans colour or religion either, regardless of unfounded allegations from the 'fat controller', which he still has not apologised for. My only conclusion about the whole affair is that the 'Twat' the 'Rat' and the 'Bat', 'Sh(a)t' on us and unfortunately it has stuck. We may be down, but we're not out and hopefully this time we 'will' receive a full and frank apology, but I won't hold my breath!

Switch Time!

With exactly a third of the league gone before the 'switch', it's surely time for United to 'switch' and instead of losing 7 and winning 4, win 7 and hope for the best in the other 4 and then maybe we can think of progressing into the top six. The matches we've lost, with the exception of the Glenavon game, have all been by a solitary goal, so maybe we're not too far away. As I said the Glenavon game was an exception and we were told it was down to indiscipline in the 'ranks', so surely these 'ranks' owe us the supporters a more professional attitude in the next round of games. Our injury crisis has deepened and at present we're minus four central defenders, with Albert Watson out with a fractured jaw, added to the already injured, Paul Muir and Gary Haveron, while Mark Surgenor reportedly has Swine flu. So it's not going to be easy as in our next three games, we face a visit to Solitude to play the Reds and then entertain Dungannon and the 'Scum' at the Showgrounds. We lost to all three of these teams and need to claim all 9 points this time around, but we would probably settle for 7, anything else is unthinkable. Therefore there's really no pressure on the team, all they need to do is go about their business and who better to lead by example than team Captain Kevin Kelbie, who has just notched up his 150th appearance for the club, if he can return to his true form then there's nothing to stop us. So come on Sky Blues, let's get stuck into these 'fat' love children, you'll notice I did say fat, just in case somebody's eyesight is as poor as their hearing, but then again, that's another story!