Amost There!

As we near the halfway point in the premier league, 16 games played, 17 games to play before the 'split', I thought I'd just have a wee look at out statistics. Of the 16 games we've played so far, we've won 7 and lost 9, scored 21 goals and conceded 22 and are in 7th position in the table with 21 points. We are 'poised' so to speak, exactly 10 points behind the 2nd placed teams, Crues and the Glens (both of whom we've beaten once and lost to once) and ten points above the relegation play-off team. Our next three league games will in my opinion decide whether we are an 'up and coming' side or just one of the also-rans. Unlike last year we have scored a few goals, but in my opinion are still conceding too many and that needs to be sorted. Manager Walker has been quoted as saying that he will not dip into the transfer market in the January sales but will still be trying to unload one or two misfits, all I can say is, good luck. Dwayne Nelson is first choice keeper at present, with young Sean O'Neill waiting patiently in the wings, while in Mike Smith and Lee Colligan we have our best fullback partnership since Marco and Boydie. These two and our central defensive pair, Archie Stewart and Chris Ramsay make for our youngest ever back four I think. We have three central defenders on long term injury, so maybe if we can get them fit we'll have real competition for places at the back. Midfield is pretty sewn up at present and its a case of about eight guys vying for four and sometimes only three places. We even have a wee bit of competition for the striking role for a change, with Nathan McConnell, now vying with Andy Smith and Kevin Kelbie for that position, while young Paul McNeil is lurking in the background. Things are indeed looking up, but and I emphasis the word 'but', things can change very quickly. Roy Walker says he's equal to the task, for the fate of our wee team, I hope he's right!

Forked Tongues!

In the 'good old' western films the Indians said that the white men spoke with 'forked tongues', which when translated meant you couldn't believe a word they said. Linfield football club I believe speak with forked tongues. Last year they 'allegedly' received £800,000 pounds from the I.F.A. for the use of Windsor Park for Internationals and cup finals etc. I say 'allegedly' as that is the fee they're admitting to, but in my limited experience, what is quoted officially and what is actually received, could have a difference of 20% more than claimed, which would make that a round fee of a million pounds. All of a sudden they seem prepared to give that income up, re-negotiate their terms which is contracted to run for another 100 odd years, the mind boggles.
The first whimper we heard was that Linfield would in effect, allow (they are bloody generous aren't they), the I.F.A. to develop the stadium (which lets face it is a disaster waiting to happen),into a 24,000 seater stadia and take a reduced fee for games. How much this fee was to be reduced was never specified, but I'd lay good odds it was by a very small percentage. Now they have stated that ownership of the stadium must remain with them. Do they think we all came down the Lagan in a banana boat? They want the I.F.A. and the Government to spend Millions developing the ground, which they will still retain ownership of. I realise Raymond Kennedy is a bit 'soft' in the head (he is a Coleraine board member after all), but even he would surely not be daft enough to agree to this ludicrous suggestion. The only sensible way forward is really to build a new Stadium, but if that's not going to happen and apparently it isn't, then ownership of the ground should pass to the I.F.A. with Linfield who would be putting nothing into the deal being allowed use of the ground for domestic games for a period of 20 years and thereafter pay a reasonable rent for the use of the facility. This is the way forward, Linfield may not like it, but anything other than this is 'anarchy'!

Fixtures Fiasco!

I find myself almost flabbergasted by the advent of a fixtures fiasco, masterminded by those refugees from ´romper room´, better known as the I.F.A. (for any young readers, romper room was a kiddies programme from the seventies, involving pre-school children). By a pure fluke United are involved in a mini fixture fiasco themselves this weekend, after having played (or should I say lost abjectly to), Crusaders, in the County Antrim Shield semi-final on Tuesday night, they now entertain the same team in a league match this Saturday. Three days later they host league champions Glentoran in a league match, that´s Tuesday the 27th October and then it´s a triple header against Institute, interspersed with a trip to Glenavon on November 7. I realise the draw was done correctly and above board (ha, ha, chance would be a fine thing), but could they have given us a less attractive draw, personally I don´t think so, even the Whites with former United manager Tommy Wright at the helm would have helped boost what most probably will be a pathetic turn-out. When the ´Stute come to the Showgrounds United lift nothing from their fans as they all (the whole eight of them), travel in the team coach, so they will bring no paying fans and United will have to rely solely on their own supporters for a decent home ´gate´.
Who in their right mind would make a pathetic fixture like this two-legged and even worse decree that the first leg be played on a Saturday. Saturdays are for league games, Irish cup games or Internationals, not penny-ante C.I.S. cups. Yes there´s prize money to be had but it´ll never compensate for the potential receipts United could expect from a Saturday meeting with the league champions. Please sit up and take note Kennedy & Co, you are destroying our game, competitions like the C.I.S. cup are a distraction, an escape from the pressure of the league race, but don´t ever think they can take it´s place. If you do, as sure as pussy´s a cat our wee game will go down the plug-hole. If this is the great sponsorship spin-off from the 12 team league, then quite bluntly it isn´t worth a plugged nickle and whoever thinks it is should go jump in the river Bann!

Both Ways!

An impassioned plea by United chairman Robert Cupples for fans to help with the clubs finances I fear may fall on closed ears. If the club are serious about wanting fans to help out then they must put their own house in order first. The players in the opinion of most fans, myself included, are 'grossly overpaid' as they show few signs of rising above the mediocre and on their wages that's nowhere nearly good enough. Their wages should be based on results, a very basic pay for being on contract and then get paid extra for wins and draws. Our players are by all accounts about the fifth best paid in the current league, this is way too much for a team that's never been better than sixth in the league and last year were decidedly lucky to avoid being in the relegation mix. There are allegedly two players costing the club over a £1,000 a week that's over £500 each in wages and travelling expenses. Our players wage bill could therefore be at least £4,000 a week, that's a lot of dosh for a mediocre team in my book. As for the management I couldn't hazard a guess at their wage bill, as we appear to be a little top heavy to my mind, with a manager, an assistant-manager, a first team coach, a goalkeeper coach, a team attendant and a kit-man. Get the results and you'll maybe not get more fans in, but you'll get fans willing to dig deep in order to help the club out. We have suffered long enough with a team that flatters to deceive, it's time to put up or shut up. So the ball is firmly in your court 'United officials', give us a good sound lead and we will definitely follow!

Fat Twats!

For anyone who has had his or head buried in the sand (or anywhere else) and hasn't heard the news, my headline may seem a little strange to you. It refers of course to the unfounded allegation of racist abuse raised I have been reliably informed by one Dungannon director, a referee and a referee's assessor. Despite United's appeal that our fans like fans up and down the United Kingdom were calling the Dungannon keeper a 'fat' Love-child (love-child being a polite word to use instead of the more common Bastard), these three individuals interpreted it as 'Black' bastard (oops I went and said it). Now I have racked my brain all week in wonderment as to how one could get confuse the two words, fat and Black. Fat does rhyme with Twat, Rat, Bat and Sh(a)t while Black rhymes with neither of these words and doesn't even sound remotely like them. I on the day in question was a good 70 yards from the incident (or should I say alleged incident), but those that I have questioned who were among the fans behind the goal assure me that no such words were spoken. What reason would our fans have for using racist comments anyway as we have nothing against any mans colour or religion either, regardless of unfounded allegations from the 'fat controller', which he still has not apologised for. My only conclusion about the whole affair is that the 'Twat' the 'Rat' and the 'Bat', 'Sh(a)t' on us and unfortunately it has stuck. We may be down, but we're not out and hopefully this time we 'will' receive a full and frank apology, but I won't hold my breath!

Switch Time!

With exactly a third of the league gone before the 'switch', it's surely time for United to 'switch' and instead of losing 7 and winning 4, win 7 and hope for the best in the other 4 and then maybe we can think of progressing into the top six. The matches we've lost, with the exception of the Glenavon game, have all been by a solitary goal, so maybe we're not too far away. As I said the Glenavon game was an exception and we were told it was down to indiscipline in the 'ranks', so surely these 'ranks' owe us the supporters a more professional attitude in the next round of games. Our injury crisis has deepened and at present we're minus four central defenders, with Albert Watson out with a fractured jaw, added to the already injured, Paul Muir and Gary Haveron, while Mark Surgenor reportedly has Swine flu. So it's not going to be easy as in our next three games, we face a visit to Solitude to play the Reds and then entertain Dungannon and the 'Scum' at the Showgrounds. We lost to all three of these teams and need to claim all 9 points this time around, but we would probably settle for 7, anything else is unthinkable. Therefore there's really no pressure on the team, all they need to do is go about their business and who better to lead by example than team Captain Kevin Kelbie, who has just notched up his 150th appearance for the club, if he can return to his true form then there's nothing to stop us. So come on Sky Blues, let's get stuck into these 'fat' love children, you'll notice I did say fat, just in case somebody's eyesight is as poor as their hearing, but then again, that's another story!

Just Boys!

With the confirmation in the last few days that a number of Norn Iron boys broke the 21-30 hours curfew on the Sunday just after the Poland game, comes the realization that the players are really just in it for the money. They don't give a toss about the dedicated fans who spend their hard-earned money following them all over the world and flock to Windsor Park paying exorbitant prices for a seat in a second rate stadium, which let's admit it,is an accident waiting to happen, just to cheer their heroes on. A pure coincidence I'm sure that Keith Gillespie was in Belfast on that night, possibly strolling round the streets of his native city. We may never know who the players involved were, or if in fact they were all involved, but surely the least we fans can expect is a unanimous apology from the players and a promise that it won't happen again. Nigel being the disciplinarian that he is will extract the full retribution on the culprits and don't be surprised if quite a few players never don the green shirt again. If anybody thinks Nigel isn't capable of wielding the axe, look no further than Keith Gillespie, who got on the wrong side of the Ballymena man and when the chance came paid the ultimate price. We at Ballymena have found ourselves recently in the same boat when our first team squad thought it would be a good idea to go on a binge while the United manager was in America. As a result in their next home game, with a decent home crowd in attendance, they 'lay down' without a whimper to Glenavon. Our players were, we are assured, fined for this indiscretion, but why oh why did they have the need to misbehave in this manner in the first place. Is it I wonder the fact that despite all this talk about professionalism, they are still just 'boys' and as they say, 'boys will be boys'!

Non-Interference!

With the news that Newry City manager Gerry Flynn has resigned citing interference, presumably or allegedly from his chairman, it's worth remembering that no matter what the circumstances, interference is a non-starter. The Newry chairman has since denied any interference, but we at United have found Gerry to be an honest chap, even though he left the Sky Blues to move to the 'scum', which in the eyes of Ballymena fans is also a non-starter, but that's another story. Yes we all love to have our opinion on who should play and who shouldn't play, but that's only speculation and the decision must always lie with the manager as it's his job that's on the line if the players mess up. On the International scene yet another former Sky Blue, our own Nigel Worthington, has come in for his share of criticism over the dropping of 'fans favourite' Keith Gillespie. Now far be it for me to try and second guess our Nigel, but it is believed in some circles that Nigel, has an axe to grind with Gillespie and he's not omitted solely on his talents. Well that's as maybe but at the end of the day we have to abide by Nigel's decision, whether right or wrong, as he is the one who'll have to carry the can if Norn Iron (as looks likely), fail to qualify for the World Cup finals in 2010. We at Ballymena I hope would never dabble in team affairs, although we do like to try and influence the manager when it comes to substitutions, but he generally doesn't take a blind bit of notice. Gerry Flynn obviously felt he couldn't ignore the interference he was getting in team selection any longer, in fact a rumour is circulating that Gerry was given two possible team sheets for last Saturday's game at Ballymena, just our luck, from our point of view he picked the wrong one, but that's also yet another story!

Double Take!

The inconsistency of referees, not just in our own league, but in football in general is a real bone of contention. Consider ourselves, a mere three weeks ago Belfast referee Ronnie Crangle sent United's goalkeeper Sean O'Neill off for raising his hands to an opponent (rightly in my opinion I hasten to add), although the opponent took an exaggerated dive. Then this Saturday at home to Newry City, referee Crangle took no action against Newry keeper Coleman, who in almost a 'carbon copy' of the previous incident, raised his hands and shoved United's Andy Smith. Admittedly Andy took a somewhat theatrical dive, but at the end of the day the hands were raised. To make matters worse he merely cautioned the perpetrator of the original foul, an elbow to Darren Lockhart's face, as the United midfielder sped past the last defender, instead of adhering to the letter of the law and red carding the offender. This was in fact somewhat ironic as he had earlier cautioned Lockhart for what one assumes was dissent, when the midfielder remonstrated with the official over an alleged elbow to United defender Mark Surgenor, conveniently missed by both referee and the same linesman. In this weeks United programme, the editor was complaining about the inconsistency of officials, namely the 4th officials, who it seems have a grudge against United manager Roy Walker. This biased officiating was never more evident than in United's away game at the 'scum slum', when the 4th official was constantly on Walker's back if he went 2 inches outside his coaching zone, while allowing home manager Platt to wander along the touch line at will. In fact the United manager was finally told to leave the coaching area by referee Davey Malcolm. We do not want specialised treatment, we just what to have a fair crack of the whip, surely when we're paying out the guts of £500 to the 4 officials that's the least we can expect. It's got so bad they almost make me want to long for the days of the 'laughing fairy', John Ferry, from Londonderry, but remember I did say 'almost'!

Diving Divas!

There's a lot of talk in the media at the moment about footballers taking a 'dive', in other words deliberately trying to 'con' the referee. There have been big headlines this week relating to an English Premier league team, Arsenal, who have had a player suspended by E.U.F.A. for allegedly diving in order to win his team a penalty. Now I don't want to get into a debate on the rights or wrongs of that particular case, but I would like to point out that 'diving' is rife in our own Premier league. I can fully understand players taking a dive in the penalty area, where a decision in their favour could win a penalty and providing they score, could help bring them and their team a 3 point bonus. What I can't understand is players (and it is condoned by their managers), taking a 'dive' in open play with the sole aim of winning a foul and/or getting an opponent cautioned. Two such incidents occurred at the Ballymena Showgrounds on Tuesday night when Glenavon were the visitors. In the first incident former United player She[a] Campbell, took a blatant dive in front of 3 officials, referee, linesman and 4th official, winning a free kick when it was perfectly clear no contact was made. This enraged United manager Roy Walker so much that he had to be physically controlled by the 4th official. The United fans were also in uproar and what made it even worse was that they enjoy a love/hate relationship with She[a]anyway. Then later on in the game Darren Lockhart was cautioned by the referee for a non-existent foul right on the byline when Glenavon player Costello took a blatant dive and the linesman who must have been in the early stages of myopia and was standing right beside the incident, aided and abetted the Glenavon 'love child' in his deceit. Surely this sort of thing must be stamped out before it gets a grip on our game, just because it's rife on the mainland doesn't mean we have to adopt it also. In an ironic twist, Glasgow Celtic who protested so vehemently about the Arsenal player taking a 'dive', were found guilty of the same offence in their next match. Their player's punishment was merely a caution, while the Arsenal player must sit out two games, it doesn't seem hardly fair now does it?